Monday, September 15, 2014

I'm the Mother of the Bride!



Mother of the Bride (MOB) - what a great title!  Like any other major event in my life, I have thought about what this time would be like for years.  I have hoped she would be ready when the time came and even more importantly, I have prayed that the right person was being prepared for her as we were trying to raise a righteous and beautiful woman for the man she would one day marry.  Our prayers have been answered and she has found a wonderful man to share her life with and we love him already!

When my sons were getting married I cherished every moment of my time as the Mother of the Groom and the experience was amazing.  My sons also found beautiful and wonderful women to join their lives with and start their own families - what a glorious and amazing thing to witness.  I love this time of life!  

Now that I am the Mother of the Bride I want to make sure I don't miss anything but since I have never been the Mother of the Bride I thought I should do a little research.  My first thought was what are the specific things that I should be doing to help my daughter and her fiance with the preparations for their special day?

First and foremost, I don't want to step on anyone's toes and do something that I'm not supposed to do.  I checked several websites, talked to a few wedding consultants as well as friends who have helped their daughters through this process and I think I have compiled a list of things that should help any Mother of the Bride. As the time gets closer, the stress level gets higher and it's important that you keep your cool so that your daughter doesn't feed off of your anxiety.  I may have messed this one up already.  Sorry, Jennifer!

Credit for all of the beautiful photos in this post go to Cathie Frost Photography located in Prescott, AZ.  You can find her at

Aren't they beautiful together?

Here is what I learned:
  1. You would think that every Mother of the Bride would know this but in the excitement of it all you can forget that you have a specific role to be a support and source of strength for your daughter.  Listen to her concerns, her ideas and her excitement no matter how small.  This is the most important day of her life as an emerging adult and she needs you to be a part of it in every way. She will let you know when you are doing too much and she will surely cry out for help when she needs it.  Just listen!
  2. If you haven't already, contact and possibly meet the grooms parents.  This will make the arrangements and details easier to handle as parents if you are already familiar with each other.  Plus, the bride and groom will feel more comfortable knowing that you are working together as a team on their special day.
  3. Be prepared to serve as the main contact for any and all wedding vendors that need to be coordinated with such as caterers, photographers, florists, reception venues, etc. Making phone calls and getting quotes is a huge part of what you will be doing so make sure you have a good phone plan if you don't live close to where the wedding is going to take place!
  4. Of course one of the most important things you will do is to help your daughter pick her wedding dress.  I was not able to be there for my daughter so one of her sweet future sister-in-laws went with her, took pictures and sent them to me so that I could be part of the day. That meant so much to me.  When I noticed a thing or two that I thought might be a concern for Jennifer, I sent a text message to remind her of our conversations so that she would make the right choice for her.  Trying on wedding dresses can be such a fun process that you can lose sight of what you have been dreaming about all your life!
  5. Compile names and addresses of family and friends to be included in the guest list for the wedding announcements.  Updating addresses can easily be done through social media such as FaceBook, Twitter and Email by private message so that personal information is not shared with the general public.
  6. Let everyone know where the couple is registered.  
  7. Help document gifts so that thank you notes can be sent out as soon as the gifts arrive.  This will alleviate a 4 day project of writing thank you notes after the wedding.  Making sure that every single person who sent a gift of any kind or helped with the bridal shower, wedding, reception or any other detail is very important.
  8. Attend and help organize the bridal shower, if asked!
  9. Working with the bride, decide what you will wear for the big day.  Also, consult with the groom's mother so that you can find dresses that compliment each other rather than clash! 
  10. On the day of the wedding, make sure that you are ready in advance of your daughter.  You want to be able to help her get dressed and focus on her before the ceremony.  These will be sweet moments for both of you so be ready! 
  11. The Mother of the Bride is the hostess of the reception so it is your job to welcome and greet all guests.  It's a tough job but someone has to do it!
  12. This should really be at the top of the list but I like it at the end because of all things you need to do for your daughter, this is the most important.  Tell your daughter every time you talk to her while you are helping to plan the wedding how special she is and that she is the most beautiful bride you have ever seen! Talk to her about how important this day is for you too and that you will do everything you can to make it the most wonderful day of her life and her fiance's.  The more you say it the more she will trust in it and it will be a gentle reminder to you to keep it all in perspective. That is most definitely your job!
I love you, Jennifer.  Your next, Elizabeth!

Happy wedding planning!  

1 comment :

  1. Such A Beautiful Couple Congratulations! Becky you will be a dream of a MIL.


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